To Fill the Hollow
by Kai-Kerrigan
Summary: An introspective fic about a pirate...


Tenchi Muyo is the property of Pioneer and AIC. I've no   
  
intention of using this to garner profits of any kind or type, so unless   
  
you like to take a poor man's computer away from him, please don't   
  
sue me!? Please?  
  
  
  
I thought I'd let the man know, who inspired my writing this   
  
very introspective fic, that I hope that he's remembered as an   
  
accomplished writer for thousands of years.  
  
  
  
BGlanders, I salute you. And for those of you who will most   
  
likely be asking about what song the main character is referring to, I'll   
  
write the lyrics right here.  
  
  
  
And, to 'A Perfect Circle', I salute you for creating a song that   
  
explains something like desire so very, very well.  
  
  
  
~~~~A Perfect Circle – The Hollow~~~~   
  
Run, desire; run, sexual being.   
  
Run him like a blade,   
  
To and through the heart  
  
No conscience, one motive   
  
Cater to the hollow.  
  
Screaming feed me here,   
  
Fill me up again.   
  
Temporarily pacify this hungering.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My e-mail is the_frost_prince@yahoo.com for any and all   
  
feedback. Please, PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK OF ANY KIND!!! Thank   
  
you! ^_^   
  
  
  
***************************************************   
  
To Fill the Hollow…   
  
By Kai_Kerrigan   
  
***************************************************   
  
It aches; it aches so badly that I want to tear it out of my   
  
abdomen and throw it across the room and scorch it with a   
  
flamethrower.   
  
  
  
The same thing plays itself out every night. Tenchi is always   
  
the last person to go to bed; he'll walk the house once, checking in on   
  
everyone to make sure that they're situated and have what they need.   
  
And, at the end of every night, he always stands right there, across   
  
from me on my rafter, and asks me if there's anything I need.  
  
  
  
Do you know what you're asking? Don't you already know the   
  
answer?  
  
  
  
I smile a huge smile, and I let you squirm as you think about   
  
how I'd take that question. It's absolutely adorable to watch you when   
  
you start to think about it, and it gets even better when I see you try   
  
to rephrase your question. But, it's far too late, and you know it.  
  
  
  
I don't say a thing; I don't have to, because you know the   
  
answer to your own question.  
  
  
  
And you walk back to your room, and leave me here on this   
  
rafter. I wait until everyone goes to sleep, and I pull out the CD player   
  
that hides behind my pillow; I play over and over a song that I   
  
remember having heard in Tenchi's CD player. The melodies and   
  
notes in the song wrapped me up in a warm and comforting kind of   
  
way, and it's the song that gave me the answer to the question of   
  
what it was that I felt.  
  
  
  
And, as the stars circle the sky, I'm sitting here looking up at   
  
the ceiling and wondering why, sometimes, it hurts like this. But, I   
  
know what it is now. I know what these hungry, hollow feelings in the   
  
softest parts of my body are.  
  
  
  
It's my desire and my passion, my love and my lust.  
  
  
  
I want you, Tenchi. I want your love, and everything that can   
  
come with it. It takes all of the strength that I can think of to fight the   
  
urge to cry and scream uncontrollably, like some willpower-broken   
  
child who's been beaten into submission. It hurts when I think of all   
  
the times that I've been told that what I feel isn't real.  
  
  
  
"You have no emotions, Ryoko." The Bastard would say,   
  
"You're nothing more than over-glorified refuse and waste product;   
  
everything you feel is nothing more than a preprogrammed response   
  
to a stimulus. Emotions are something that is beyond your ken and   
  
capability; do not assume that you have the ability to comprehend   
  
something you will never have."  
  
  
  
It's not fake, damn it! What I feel isn't a lie!   
  
  
  
I know it's real, because there's nothing else that it can be!   
  
I've tried to make myself believe what the Bastard would say, because   
  
I didn't know any better. But when I sat next to Tenchi….. I witnessed   
  
his frustration and love and confusion about his grandmother dying…..   
  
I knew, right then, that what I felt about so many things wasn't   
  
'synthetic' or 'preprogrammed'.   
  
  
  
They were real. Truly heartfelt, tugging-at-your-soul real   
  
feelings; no matter what anyone else will ever say, Tenchi is my proof   
  
that everything that you do in life can be heartfelt and serious, truthful   
  
and sincere.  
  
  
  
I can't help this anymore; after having been merged with Zero,   
  
it's been driving me insane with the intensity of what I feel for Tenchi.   
  
It's absolutely nerve-wracking to have all of these feelings, when they   
  
were already powerful as it is, amplify to the point of obsession. I love   
  
Tenchi with all of my heart, but I know that there's some defining   
  
point in this. I don't want to love him to death; that would make   
  
Tenchi into something he doesn't want to be, and I don't want to make   
  
him become something he's not willing to become.  
  
  
  
So I wait, and I hurt. This hollow feeling that I have wants to   
  
be filled, and I don't know how long I'm willing to wait. But, I know   
  
that Tenchi is the only man that I want to fill the hollow. 


End file.
